Just a little post as I've had a message on my site and emails about my family emergency. It's certainly been a tough few weeks for me. We all go through difficult times, and when you come to me for help, a lot of you are feeling very low or struggling in your lives. Many of you have been feeling progressively low, some have had breast surgery, some have lost hope of feeling better. You share with me, and are open and honest with your troubles. I try to help you all as best I can and hope that even just by talking to me and hopefully finding options for your breasts, you can feel better. You often tell me it/I've helped, and that is so wonderful.
I write this now as I find it's sometimes helpful to know we are not alone in suffering. It's part of being human and tough times affect us all. I'm suffering at the moment and finding things tricky, so I thought I'd share. I want my blog to be informative and uplifting, but also real. This is me, Jo, the little shop owner who is having a tough time and being open with you, and that is no bad thing I think. If you only like happy blog posts, skip this one.
My first woe was recently when a young teenager riding his scooter out between two parked cars without looking, onto my car as I drove up the road. It was such a shock and so frightening, for us both, with the ambulance, police all in attendance and me being interviewed and breathalysed. My daughter was in the car too, but luckily everyone was OK. It did result in a hefty car repair bill, as my entire front headlight was smashed on the passenger side and the front bumper had to come off. It was really frightening, as for a long time I wasn't sure if he was ok, and the Police started quite forceful with me in case I had been driving dangerously, so it made me feel like I was guilty of something. It was all OK after, as I came home and reminded myself that the boy was ok, that I hadn't done anything wrong, it was just an accident and the light is just money.
Next was a flood in my house. The stop-cock managed to burst off in my daughters room. The pipe burst and when the stop cock has been pushed off with the pressure, my panicked mind took a while to work out how to stop the water jetting into the room. I was trying to reapply the stop cock with the full however-many-bar-of-pressured-water, until I suddenly remembered it can be turned off in the street. It didn't fully turn off out there, but enough to stop the flood. A week of taking up flooring, running dehumidifiers, replacing flooring and repainting damaged walls etc, and it's all ok. It just took a LOT of time and some more money.
Next was a fox attack in my garden. I was silly and I had let my lovely chickens out on the lawn with me, as they have been enclosed since December due to Avian Flu. I just wanted them to have some freedom and some sun, and I forgot that it is the time of year when foxes are terrible. I'd never had one come into my garden though, just before midday and try and snatch one in front of me. It took me and them completely by surprise. I scared it away and grabbed them, but one was too injured as it had snapped at her. After a lot of nursing and time, she still had to be put to sleep. It was so utterly upsetting, especially as she was my favourite, I had a £200 vet bill without the happy ending and I am racked with guilt. If only I hadn't let them out with me. I cried a lot for 2 days, mainly from the shock and guilt.
Now it's a family member that is very unwell. It's so upsetting and worrying and eclipses the other things, which is as much as I can say about it here. I'm trying to keep going and do all I can to keep my mental health in-tact, and it's a little too raw at the moment. We all need to do what we can to process our stresses, grief, financial worries and remember that things will not always be so bad. I'm trying to do that right now, and remember that life isn't always this difficult. I've read a bit about it and what I am doing is called "active coping". The other type is "passive coping", so keeping things more hidden away. I do talk to those around me, express when I am having good and bad moments of mental health and they do the same, which is absolutely invaluable. Writing this is part of my active coping.
Not everyone has a support network though, and using mine a lot right now reminds me how lucky I am. If you are going through a tough time and you feel alone or just that you need to vent, do email me. I'm not a counsellor and I don't know the "right" thing to say, but I can listen if that's what you need. You can write me your struggles in complete confidence to me.
On a more positive note to round off, when things have calmed down in my life I'll look to doing some write-ups for things that can be done when stressed in case it helps someone.